Here are my goals for 2021

Well would ya look at that? We flipped the calendar. 2020 is behind us and we are now on to 2021. What do we have in store for us the next 365 days? Well, all bets are off. But I figured it would be good to set some personal goals for the year ahead and I thought I would share them with all of you. Partially so you can hold me accountable and also because maybe some of these might inspire you to set some goals for yourself.

In no particular order…

  • Eat enough wings at a restaurant that it prompts the server to ask if I am finished and I look at them, wing sauce all over my face, and say, “Oh, I am just getting warmed up.”
  • Chug a beer at Target Field after the Twins mash a dinger. 
  • Bake a quiche. 
  • Show up at an out of town event I wasn’t expected to attend. Make my presence known by taking a long, slow drag of a cigarette and cooly saying, “You think I’d miss this party?”
  • Do Stone Cold Steve Austin’s entrance music at a karaoke bar. Just a lot of mouth guitar and beer chugging.
  • Jump into a body of water in celebratory fashion with all my clothes on. 
  • Stroll into a bowling alley, walk up to one of the lanes, grab a ball from a ball returner, smoke a perfect strike, give ‘finga gunz’ to the person I rolled a strike for, and walk out without saying a word.
  • Watch ‘Fast 9’ on the premier day surrounded by friends and family who won’t judge me for how excited/emotional I get while watching. 
  • Pet a lot of very good dogs. 
  • Watch ‘Fast 9’ like 30 more times. 
  • Intercept a pass from two people playing catch with a football by the lakes and pretend to run off with the ball before giving them the “Nah, I am just goofin’ around” look and throw a perfect spiral back to them. 
  • Get Paddington to hit me up on Twitter. 
  • Rewatch the 2019 World Cup final and roll tears of joy when Rose Lavelle scores the clincher. 
  • Play a game of Donkey Kong at Up-Down so majestically it causes people surrounding the machine to say it was like getting to see Leonardo Da Vinci painting the Mona Lisa in person. 
  • Lastly, and most importantly, continue to do whatever I can to help everyone get through 2021. We aren’t out of the weeds yet but are closer than ever. We are all in this together, friends. We got this. Happy New Year.